So last month I ended my post saying I look forward to feeling better. I just didn’t know it would be THIS much better.
What I found was that the more I did yoga, the more energy I had. Usually. There were days when I felt I had slid back to my old ways of feeling listless and depressed, but if I got myself to do even a few minutes of some sort of yoga–and it didn’t even have to be vinyasa; restorative or yin worked just as well–or some sort of movement–biking or walking–I would feel better, and better, and then, maybe the next day, super good.
These notes probably won’t mean much to you, but I have to say that just KEEPING TRACK of my exercise for a month helped keep me focused and strong. Try it. Just for a month, jot down every time you go to yoga class, or every time you meditate, or every time you do something kind for yourself and see if, like me, you don’t feel like, somewhere deep in your back muscles, you’ve got wings that are just waiting to unfold.
Day One: Yoga Tune Up with Kent. Lower back sore from moving. Founder’s Day Parade. Day Two: Yoga with Kent. I showed up 10 minutes late. Tubular core. Sore the next day. Day Three: Yoga Tune Up with Nathania. Feet. My lower back hurt less as I walked away. My toes moved. Day Four: Yoga with Kent–headed to class–hadn’t had breakfast–drove to Whole Foods, didn’t make it back in time. Hiked Kennedy instead. Day Five: Yoga with Gabriel/Christina substituting. Did sounds—sweating when we did the stomach—lean to the right/whoooooo. Feel really alive. Day Six: Christina substituting – built on the previous class. Felt my stomach come alive as more than a container for cookie dough for the first time in a long time. Day Seven: Kent. Remembering what it feels like to move- my body feels reluctant to sweat, but once I do: I feel as if I have come home. Much less back pain after even though it hurt during class. Day 8: Didn’t read the NYT so I could make it to class. Kent sub for Tom. A lot of ab work to try to wake us up. I made throw up noises. No one laughed. The class seemed 10 minutes long. Went for a 30 minute bike ride after. Was euphoric in the bike store buying a helmet and bike shorts I just pulled over my other pants. Day 9: Kent. Sweated. 21 people in the class. Awesome. Day 10: Yoga Tune Up with Nathania. Side lying with the ball. Shock and ease. Feeling release in the car. Head and body ready to explode. Day 11: Yoga with Gabriel. Lot of breathing exercises. Day 12: Rode my bike to Los Gatos. Stronger and stronger. Day 13: Rode bike 45 min. No yoga class because I had to wait for the water guy. Day 14: Rode bike 45 min. Day 15: Rode bike 30 min, did 15 min yoga – felt like a furnace all day. On fire in the very best way. Day 16: Went to Courtside. 20 min on stairs (almost fainted). 20 min on bike on level one. Day 17: Yoga Tune Up with Kent – QL tendon and abs – second time. THE SPOT. Hiked the dam after. Strong. Day 18: Rode my bike to Los Gatos. RODE it. Stood up in the pedals. Raced an old man. Had so much energy all day. Day 19: Walked for an hour. Crashed energy wise. Day 20
Yoga Tune Up with Nathania. Cried at the end of class about Jen. Thought I was out of it during class because of too much food…but really it was grief holding my guts in a know…can’t hide anything from the mat. And therein lies the grace. Day 21: Flow with Kent – windows steamed at the end of class. Blessed Jen and Jeff and class’s end. This is my community. Day 22: Rode into Los Gatos and back. I hour plus. Day 23: Hiked the dam. Day 24: Went to Peet’s ready to go to Yoga Tune Up with Kent—my stomach hurt. Went home. By noon—did five minutes of restorative—suddenly full of energy; got on my bike for half an hour. Day 25: Half hour yogaglo class. Amazing how much you can do in thirty minutes. Day 26: Yoga with Christina. Strong practice. Rode to Los Gatos. Day 27: 20 minutes of restorative. Day 28: Walked the dish and around Palo Alto – 2 hours. Feel happy. Day 29: Walked the up Jones trail/the dam. No back pain. Wanted to fly. Day 30: 20 minutes of Kundalini. Thought I would faint. Rode to LG—longest so far. Day 31: Yoga Tune Up with Kent. Had a moment where the world went perfectly still.
I am in Heaven.